Learning to Accept

Hey friends! So today is kind of a heavy post, and I'm just needing some encouragement from y'all.  Today I will be undergoing my second colonoscopy, probably as you are reading this.


When I was a sophomore in college, I was diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis.  It is an autoimmune disease that I will have to deal with for the rest of my life.  I have a very mild form of it (luckily), but basically I have ulcers in my colon/large intestine.  I take medicine everyday to keep it under control, and will have to get colonoscopy's every three years for the rest of my life.  My colonoscopy will be just a routine checkup. None of my symptoms have returned, but it's still a scary procedure for me. I will be put under anesthesia,  not ALL the way like you do for surgery, but I'll still be asleep. It takes about 30 mins for the whole procedure and is completely painless.  I will wake up disoriented, but will come around after about 30-45 mins and will be able to go home.

Being 23 years old and knowing that you have a disease is really hard to deal with. I know that there are people younger than me dealing with worse issues, but that doesn't mean this hasn't been hard to deal with. It's difficult being "young" and already having to take medication everyday. I always imagined I'd be A LOT older before that started. I often find myself asking, "Why me?", and  "What did I do to deserve this?"  Most people don't have to get their fist colonoscopy until they turn FIFTY years old! Although it has been three years since I've been diagnosed, I still haven't wrapped my head around it and accepted it. I have to make sure that I eat healthy and exercise, which is what we are supposed to do anyways, but I also need to watch my stress level and anxiety, which I have a real problem with. These could cause flare-ups, and an increase in medication, and I really don't want to do that. I feel like the first step in accepting this disease is announcing it, and stop holding it all in. I need to continue in prayer for God to heal my body and to keep this disease in a mild state.

Apparently, autoimmune diseases are hereditary and very common, and some are worse than others.  This is not the only autoimmune disease I have, I also have Raynaud's Syndrome. Whenever I'm cold (could be in the snow, or too cold of A/C) my toes turn white and go numb.  It's nothing serious, and I don't take medication for it, but it's just something added onto the list of health issues I have at the ripe old age of 23.  I'm not wanting sympathy from this post, I just want to get my story out there, and writing this post helps ME feel better and get my thoughts and feelings out of my head. I am hoping that writing this will help me get over the fact that I will have this disease the rest of my life and help me to accept it. I need to make sure I continue to exercise and eat healthy so my disease stays in a mild state.  So if anyone feels like helping me out and wants to hold me accountable, that would be wonderful :).

Also, after my last colonoscopy, I got really sick from the anesthesia so if any of you want to send up some prayers for me to not get sick, calm my anxiety, and for me to get a clean bill of health, it would mean the world to me!!

Thanks for letting me vent, I will be back later this week with my normal posts!

Have you ever had a hard time accepting something that you were dealt with in life? I would love to hear some encouraging stories about how you did it!

18 comments:

  1. Prayers your way this morning! God will never give you more than you can handle...so He must know how strong you are :)

    Good luck today!

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  2. Good luck Sarah! Praying for you! You'll do great! :o)

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  3. That's really tough. Thanks for sharing something so personal! I had a friend who, in high school, had the same problem but much worse - he had his colon completely removed. I'm sorry that you have to go through it, but at least you know it's an issue and know to be on the look out for it.

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  4. Definitely saying a prayer for you! Hope you feel better and get only good news back!

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  5. Aww hope you're ok and that you don't get sick from the anesthesia. So stressful! But it's good you know and are able to take part in preventative care. Good luck!

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  6. Will be sending thoughts and prayers your way...

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  7. Good luck! We all have to go through sucky things but we come out stronger every time! Ask the dr or nurse for Zofran...it helps with feeling sick from anesthesia! :)

    Jill
    Classy with a Kick

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  8. Just said a prayer for you Sarah!

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  9. Hope everything goes well. As a pharmacist I understand that UC is tough! Hang in there!

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  10. I'll be praying things go okay. That is tough to deal with. I have been blessed with health, but there are other aspects of my life I struggle with, and I just remember that God is in control and knows exactly what's going to happen. It makes me feel better knowing that.

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  11. Just found your blog by blog hopping over from Sweet Sharing Monday! I have a 14 year old daughter that has just been diagnosed with Raynauds. We are in the process of trying to find out what kind of autoimmune syndrome, disease she has. She was just sedated for a long, long MRI. I will say a prayer for you and hope you get a clean bill of health. Hope everything goes well for you today.

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  12. I'm praying for you, dear! I have an insanely rare disorder as well and I know how hard it is to deal with at a young age. Let me know if you need accountablilty for your health!

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  13. I hope it went as well as it could! Prayers girly!!

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  14. Sometimes we need the strength of others to carry us on. I'll pray for you that God sends healing and strength and resolve.

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  15. Oh man, good karma being sent your way. My cousin has UC and she is not lucky enough to have it easy. I know how horrible this can be!

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  16. I hope it went well. I also have Raynaud's Syndrome but I have a severe case and take daily medication year round. Last year I was hospitalized after a particularly bad attack. I can commiserate over auto immune diseases. I hope you're feeling better this evening.

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  17. Sending love and prayers your way!

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  18. Hi I found your blog via a comment on living in yellow. I am a bit older than you, 32, but I have lupus and totally understand how hard it is to be young and have an autoimmune disease. I also had a mom with breast cancer, so I understand that challenge too. Your blog is great and I wish you health and happiness!

    Nikki
    www.LivingLifeWithLupus.com

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I enjoy reading all of your comments and try to reply to each one I can! So please let me know what you have to say!

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